Molly Z (mjz) wrote,
Molly Z
mjz

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Today vs. Tonight

Today was a good day, despite the fact that I ran into problems with my government study sheet. But later on, it turned out ok anyway, so i didn't need to worry about it. Plus the test was short, different, and kinda easy. So I'm really hoping I did pretty well on it.
The rest of my day went smoothly. I even took the time after school (even though I was feeling tired) to walk to the park alone and swing on one of the swings for a good 15 minutes, then head home.

i come home to see my dad doing small electrical stuff around the house. So I napped out for an hour or two, then dinnertime at 7:30pm. Still things were going smoothly, and I was satisfied with my dinner. Later, I finish up and i thanked him for a wonderful, delicious dinner. After that, I told him that the dinner helped warm my body up, since I was feeling cold during my nap and was too lazy to pull a blanket over me. his reponse was, "That's what all foods do to you."
"I know, but I was feeling cold before, and now I'm not anymore."
"Well that's what warm food does to you."
This is when the cap explodes, and I get impatient by whining in a boring way. "Yes I know, but--"
"You DON'T have to be so bitchy about it! I'm sick of this 'I know' crap," snaps my dad. "It's not like I'm hurting you by facts."
"I know dad, but what I meant was--"
"Shut up! I don't want to hear it anymore." Pissed, hurt, wanting to slap him in the face and cry all at the same time, I walk into my room and fold my clean laundry. A minute or so later, my dad comes into my room and yells at me once again. I try to tell him that I was sorry, and that i didn't mean to be whiny and sniffly about it. Reacting in anger again, what I said didn't fly, in his book. So he angerly stomped out of my room and made his own tea and did a few other things around the kitchen, while I finished folding my laundry.
A minute afterwards, I stomped into the kitchen and made my own tea, and hide into my room afterwards. We haven't spoken to each other since then. Usually in reaction to his anger towards me, I'll get pissed and get into a huge 6-year-old crying fit. Tonight I didn't do that. Instead, I took the time to think about what I'd like to say to him to prevent this crap to happen again between us. During my thinking and calming down a bit, I read some LJ Journal entries and listened to Incubus, which slowly made me feel better.

What I need to do is talk to my dad and tell him where I stand with my feelings and tell him there needs to be some changes so we don't end up hurt and ignoring each other like always, when he yells at me. I need to have courage to do this and clear this issue up with him before I go to bed tonight, so we can end on a good note tonight.

That's my day. Laterz.
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