Molly Z (mjz) wrote,
Molly Z

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Falling Apart Emotionally & Physically

Had yet another emotional breakdown last night both with my folks and alone. I need to get my crap together, and just because I'm saying it doesn't mean I'm doing it. There's a lot of things I've been denying about myself lately, and I just need to snap out of it. I bawled (sp?) my eyes out for hours last night and couldn't sleep till 4am. I think I've changed too much, in a bad way. It's all catching up to me and eating me up and killing me.

I haven't answered my phone nearly all week except for my dad & a restricted ID call. I haven't wanted to see anyone or hang out with anyone or get out and do anything, because all I want to do is make electronic projects in my room. That is fun for me, and I felt like it was more fun doing that than anything else. A weird stimulation thing, I guess. But yeah, something's wrong with me. My folks said I haven't been happy and I need to do more stuff, and they're right.

So today, I'm gonna try & take the written drivers test & get an ID; get laundry done. I guess I have to start somewhere on the bottom, and work my way up. This is the only way I'll be happy again, which is to start getting my crap together and being independent. I've not done so for 20 years, might as well start now.
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