Molly Z (mjz) wrote,
Molly Z
mjz

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What's Wrong With ME???

I've been sooo moody tonight, it's unbelievable. When I woke up this afternoon, I was pissed off and in tears because I felt like my folks neglected me about breakfast and crap. They were both working and gone when I realized they had breakfast without me. An hour after slamming things and being a bitch, I decided to go grocery shopping, which made me feel better. Came back and made some food for myself, and felt more better. Then I was moderately happy and fine all afternoon until tonight. Had dinner alone, since my folks wanted to hit a bookstore and find a specific book, which they couldn't find. So they came back all grumpy and stupid stuff.

Later on, my folks asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with them, and I didn't want to. I was bored, tired, but feeling mellow and happy. So I decided to call a friend who's name I won't mention for personal reasons. He had told me a bad guy had called him months ago and threatened to kill him if he called me ever again, which was why I hadn't heard from him in months. Having found out about that, I was hurt, pissed, sad, lonely, and confused. I want to find the guy that did this to my friend, because it's not right, and I want to protect my friends from having anything bad happening to them, such as getting killed. ANYWAY my friend and I are gonna catch a movie tomorrow, hang out and catch up on things for a bit. Hopefully it'll be good. :-)

After talking to him on the phone, I bursted out crying and complaining to the folks about what happened to my friend. There's a lot of things I need to think about and consider, and I'm not ready for it. Half hour later, the same friend called me back on the road going home from a gig and wanted to chit chat, which cheered me up. Then I was in a great mood after I got off the phone with him, which was for 15 minutes, and it was before 1am. That was when I had changed my mind and wanted to watch a movie with my folks. But they didn't want to. They had gotten into an argument while I was on the phone and they had decided to just go to bed. ARGH! So that little thing set off the 'pissed off' mode for me again.

I have been feeling physically screwed up for almost two weeks since I haven't gotten my damn period, and it's emotionally screwing me up too! I've never gotten this unstable emotionally ever. And I refuse to take stupid pills or whatever for this crap. I just want to be happy by the time I leave for my vacation.

I feel like something's wrong with me, I dunno. This whole stuff makes me think about Joshers, Logan, Weasel, Catling, Unipeg, Adamant, Dave, Izzi, SpiderLily, Dakota, Mike, Mikey, CoRri, Paris (and other friends I may have forgotten about) and the whole time I've had LJ for almost 3 years. I dunno. Maybe I'm too hard on myself right now, and need to relax. Like I said to my folks, tomorrow's another day, and maybe it'll be better. Let's just hope so.
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